To and Fro

I looked up the definition of "to and fro."  I looked it up because it's one of those phrases we use so often that we tend to lose it's meaning.  But sure enough it meant exactly what I thought it meant, "moving from one place to another and back again."  That's what I've done.  We left Santa Cruz and went to New Jersey and now, I am back.  I am in Santa Cruz, staying with some lovely friends and wishing with all my heart that my husband was here with me.
We went back to New Jersey with high expectations- excited to see family and to show off our precious son.  We were anticipating so many things, like date nights and help and less exhaustion and stress.  Even though those things did not happen like we thought, we are still grateful for what did happen.  We had some help, but we found our passion again.  We lost it for a little- or maybe it was changing shape, changing us- growing until all we could do was have a fresh start.  This is our fresh start.  I am no longer the stressed out Danielle.  I am no longer the worried Danielle.  THIS is what we should be telling each other.  Not, "I know.  It's so hard.  I'd be the same way."  Sure, sympathy makes way for compassion and no one wants to share their vulnerability with people who cannot relate.  But I want people to remind me of who I am.  And I am not worried and stressed because I don't know what will happen or because it's hard.  I'm worried and stressed because I need someone to remind me of who God is.  This is most important.
That is kind of what this trip is doing.  Reminding me.  Renewing me.